It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Now that I'm a "grown-up" an "adult" or whatever you call us married people that don't have kids yet...I believe that the holiday we call "Christmas" is more like an evil game. Some people have mastered the art of re-gifting, some use their annual Christmas cards to brag about things like how well their business is doing or how one of the kids got all A's this year, and others have gone so far as to buy $30 gifts for a gift exchange that only had a limit of $3! Another thing, 4 words: Day After Thanksgiving Sale. It's madness and adults go over the edge every time. No wonder people get so stressed out during the Christmas season, it's because they are too worried whether this person will like their gift, or if they spent enough money on that person. It's all a show. Then there's that phrase that it's the time to give and not receive....well, have you ever been to a gift exchange where you play the game "Rob You Neighbor"? That game was invented for stingy people!

I guess I didn't notice all this drama when I was a kid. I was quite oblivious to how much time, energy, and MONEY that goes into this Holiday. But nonetheless I still love Christmas with all it's festivities and awkward moments.

My favorite part of the holidays has nothing to do with gifts...I love the carols, the cookies, the lights, and especially the PARTIES! Braden and I have already been to 3 this year. Here are some pictures:
Formal Christmas party with my work at the Pasadena Hilton. It was a lot of fun...and we danced the night away! The group at Kurt and Kellie's 2nd annual Christmas party! Great food, fun games!

Lake Arrowhead

Last weekend Braden and I went to our Kurt and Kellie's cabin (actually Kurt's family's cabin) in Crestline near Lake Arrowhead. Here's a picture of the cabin:Altogether there were 3 couples, Dan and Delaine, Kurt and Kellie, and Braden and I. The rest were Dawn, Melissa, and Jenna, and Mark. Here's a picture of all of us:
We left Friday night after dinner and all piled in our car and Kurt and Kellie's SUV. The ride there was a little scary...like the time my dad drove my family up Pike's Peak in Colorado on road that barely fit two cars...in our 15 passenger van...yeah anyway, so it was a very windy road up the mountain, but we made it safely. When we got there we took all our bags and things inside, had a tour of the cabin, and then it was time for the battle of the beds! There was one queen size bed upstairs, one downstairs, and two futons. To see who got to sleep on the beds we played a game called "four men on a couch". It's sort of a memory game...it was really fun, but it would take too long to explain how to play. Anyways, we got the futon, which is way better than the floor! haha! We all ended up watching (or fell asleep to) the animated movie called "Monster House". It sucked.
The next morning we all woke up and went to a little breakfast place called "The Loose Caboose". It was amazing! Dan got this omelet concoction that had everything you could imagine in it and it was as big as his plate....he ate the whole thing! Go Dan! Braden and I both got pancakes, eggs, bacon/sausage...it was so yummy! After that we took a walk around part of Lake Arrowhead. Kurt brought his frisbees and we played some disc golf, making trashcans and large trees the targets as we ventured around the lake. Here's some pictures:
We also did some shopping at a nearby outlet center. That nights we ordered pizzas for dinner and played a board game, cards, darts, etc. It was great fun and it was great getting to know everyone that came. When we got back Sunday afternoon Braden and I were dead tired. Back to reality though! haha!

Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for Thanksgiving! Here's why:

Getty Art Museum

Over the weekend Braden, Thomas, and I went to the Getty Art Museum. I'm not the type that would go to an art museum in my spare time...but this one seemed like it would be interesting. First of all, because you park in an underground parking garage and then take a tram up the side of a mountain that sits right next to the 405 and overlooks the city of Los Angeles. It looked pretty sweet and if nothing else I could get some cool pictures...turns out that it was pretty neat. The art with all the various paintings, photographs, sculptures, etc. were all very interesting and I actually read alot of the descriptions that went with each of them.

What interested me the most was the gardens...first the cactus garden that looks over a sweet view of LA:

And then my very favorite the Central Garden:

We spent about 3 hours at the art museum and then went to the Sherman Oaks Galleria for food. There was a huge Christmas tree and I made Braden take my picture...but I can't post it for some reason, believe me it was the most Christmasy Christmas tree ever!

The day was grand...wish you coulda joined us...

Flowers, Harleys, and Pasta

My husband is the greatest! I just thought that everyone should know! haha!

Friday night when I got home from a long day at work he had dinner made (my favorite pasta!), flowers, and a funny/cute poem he wrote. He's pretty much the best husband ever...he is taking 18 units at college, does homework 'til all hours of the night at times, wakes up at 4:30 in the morning three days a week to go to work, AND still has time to treat me like a princess! He's the best for me!

Living with Seniors (Senior Citizens that is)

Last night was the Thanksgiving potluck dinner at the Canyon Club Senior Apartments where Braden and I currently live. It was interesting, to say the least. But, I must admit that it was kinda fun too. We met some friends there (Kurt and Kellie) when it started. Kurt and Kellie were the only other young people there besides us and a little girl about 10 or so who was probably someone's great great granddaughter....just kidding!
Anyways, so I'm sure you're dying to hear how the rest of the night went right? Well, let me tell you...we get there and drop off our yummy green bean casserole (which Braden made, I might add) and are told to help ourselves to drinks...soda, bottled water, wine. I go over to the soda and start pouring drinks for Braden and I. Kurt then walks over and warns us to check the date on the bottle...yeah the orange soda we were about to drink was from 2002. Yuck! You see, Kurt has the awesome priveledge to work for the apartment complex as a maintenance guy a few hours a week....so he knows these old people. I'm so glad he was there to stop us from a potential disaster. haha!
Not long after that we found seats and a drawing began for a fleece blanket, stuffed animal, coffee maker, etc.....we didn't know about it so after they drew the first person's name Kurt got up and made them stop the drawing so he could add all of our names to the hat. Normally, that would probably be an inappropriate thing to do, but it's Kurt, so it's okay.
So then they drew the next person's name....Daniel's name was drawn. Daniel is a cute little old man that I have actually seen walking around the complex before. But after they announced his name, Kurt started cheering for him big time and chanted "Daniel! Daniel! Daniel!"...I think maybe the old people like Kurt because they can actually hear what he is saying because he is so loud....but I'm not sure.
Finally dinner came...let me pause a minute to give you a helpful hint for potluck dinners: Generally, only eat food that you and your friends brought...otherwise you are on your own for the unknowns.
Pumpkin pie that was clearly store bought concluded the evening and all were happy.
The end.

Panera rocks!

I love free wireless internet!
And I love free muffins!

ahhh sunny California...

I'm sick of Target....I never thought I'd ever say that
The speed limit on most roads out here is 50 mph....I like that.
Everything is bigger....I haven't decided if I like it better or not.
I found out what a "day laborer" is...
I LOVE the beach!!! I wish I could go every single day!
Palm trees are everywhere!
I am trying to make a habit of making the bed everyday....ha!

(sigh)

all done...catch my breath for a few days and its off again to a new place, a new life...

Beautiful Disaster

"...He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster?
He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster"

One falls down
And another.
Faster, swifter they come.
Cold shiver...
My body goes numb,
As each one passes.
I let it all go,
My everything.
As if they were a piece of me
Being ripped away
And torn to shreds.
But, to you,
They are nothing,
Lifeless beings,
Worthless.

THANK YOU!

Over the past three months I have been writing many, many thank you notes. What I have written in those notes are just a small reflection of how grateful Braden and I are for all the gifts and money we have received for our wedding. We have been so blessed with such supportive and caring people surrounding us.....our faimily, friends, and church family.
Prayers, words of encouragement, and the gifts we have received have overwhelmed me with gratitude. It amazes me that these people, some of whom I haven't even met before, even care. They could just say something like, "oh, when we first got married we had hardly anything, they should fend for themselves like we did", or whatever; but they don't!!! I never want to take these people for granted.
I pray that someday, I also may bless others around me as we have been blessed.....a newly married couple like us, a college student, or whoever........regardeless if I am close with them or not. I am to show the love of Christ to eveyone around me...it is what we, as Christians, are called to do. We should always be looking for ways to show love towards each other, everyday!

Romans 12
9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord. 20On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Waiting

One week of work left.
Two weeks til the wedding. Not nervous at all...this is what I want to do.
There's still alot to do, but we'll get it done. Mostly all that is left are things we can't do until the week of the wedding anyways...that's why I won't be working. I'm exctied.
My personal shower/bachlorette party is tomorrow. That should be fun! : )

We still need an apartment...at this point all we can do about that is pray that an opening will pop up...we've done all we can up to this point.

CLOSE WEEK

It is close week at work.
I have a little over 2 weeks left here.
I wanna be anywhere but here.
Work sucks...life will go on.

Anniversary Day

One year ago today he asked me if I'd be his girlfriend. I never thought that my simple "yes" answer would soon lead to another big question that I answered "yes" to as well. I wonder what the next question will be...

Amazing how God brings people together...I was never expecting it at all!

One month to go!

In exactly 30 days I will be married. I will start a family of my own (though it will be a while before there will be any additions). I almost can't believe it's finally here! Now that it's so close I do believe the 7 or so months did go by quickly. I'm getting more and more excited each day!

I think it's so incredible how God allows marriage to even exsist among us fallen beings. His grace is ever abundant! I am not perfect, nor will I ever be...same with my husband, but I have the perfect example to follow after, our Lord Jesus Christ. His example and how He loves His people (the church) is what marriage was created to look like. Ephesians 5 explains:

22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30because we are members of his body. 31"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

I pray the Lord gives me and my soon to be husband the wisdom and strength to get through these next few months with all the decisions we have to make regarding finances, apartment, transportation, moving, etc. Especially adjusting to living with each other! I pray that we always look up to our Lord before we look down, or around for advice in the situations we encounter.
I pray for myself that I have patience and not go with my natural tendancy to rush things along just so they "get done". That I put my husband's needs before my own and show the greatest respect a wife possibly can; and to love him and take care of him as best as i can. I pray that my husband and I go through this life here on earth together serving the Lord and His people and being an example to others, not by our gifts/talents/abilitites, but by the love and respect we show towards each other as a married couple.

Romans 12:9-21

Marks of the true Christian:
Let love be genuine.
Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
Love one another with brotherly affection.
Outdo one another in showing honor.
Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Live in harmony with one another.
Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.
Never be conceited.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

iPod nano

work is so much better now that i have my ipod-thanks so much b! now i don't have to listen to the other ladies in the office complain about their families (kids, grandkids, and husbands), how far behind we are because our system crashed last thursday, all their health issues, etc.
now i can just ignore it all and listen to my favorite music...yeah, it's great!

do you know that i know what you know that i wasn't supossed to know?

i hate suprises. i'd rather it be that i know what the suprise is without letting them know that i know (you may have to read that sentence again slow). i'm good at that game. good at pulling it off. so many things i wasn't supossed to know but did, or found out...


...my birthday is tomorrow.

that's just how it goes...

What is important to me, what I get exctied about, what I like may not have the same affect on my fiance as it does on me.

Isn't that one of those things that girls automatically assume with guys?...like whatever I like, he should like too, right? Nope...I'm not hearbroken or anything, he just hindered my spirits a bit, I'll get over it quick. I just feel like a dumb little girl, that's all.
Oh, and then when you do find something that he (or both of you) get excited about...most guys don't respond very enthusiastically at all. That's just how it goes. Nothing will change that. Very few things excite a guy in which a girl can significantly tell that he is as thrilled as she is...

"are you getting nervous yet?"

another day closer.
i am reminded constantly of how drastically my life will change here in the next month or so. ladies at work are trying to scare me i think....no, that can't be their intentions, but that's how they come across. they seem to always make a big deal of how we have yet to find an apartment in california, how we're so young to be gettting married, how they think i should finish my education and stop wanting to grow up so fast...i don't care...this is how it's gonna be! i'm excited and can't wait...i don't really have any major worries... i am getting married to a wonderful man who will love me and take care of me for the rest of my life. why should i worry? i have a gracious Father who will guide me and show His love to me and He still will show His love to me though i am completely and utterly unworthy of it. No matter how great or how tough the circumstances may be, i will be watched after. it's gonna be a big change and it won't be a honeymoon for forever I know...but i can still be excited and i don't have to worry because...i choose not to!
even people at church are like "are you getting nervous yet?" "have you found an apartment yet?" as if to tell us we should be worried, nervous or whatever because of how soon everything is coming up...don't people know that you can plan a wedding, move to another state, and begin a new life without having a heart attack?
now not everyone reacts to our plans negatively...there are some that are as exctied as we are...those people are encouraging to me. grandma mary is one who is very excited for us...she makes me laugh...she was born to a family that had 13 kids so she married at age 15. she sees nothing scary at all about what we are about to do. she's seen hard times, and her advice would probably be that you can make it through it if you are wise with your money and if we have each other. and diane....she's always telling everyone how excited she is to finally have a girl in her family. and kyle and kim...they're in the same boat as us...young, about to marry, and excited for it all.

point of no return

growing, learning, responsibility....i'm at the point where i have to. sometimes i want it, and at other times i don't. can anyone relate?
maybe it's just because i'm about to turn 21 on sunday. i'm at the point where there is no return...i have to be a responsible adult. next year i'll be 22 and the next 23! that sounds so old to me right now...why?
or maybe it's because in 38 days i will be getting married and will have a crap load of responsibility suddenly drop on my shoulders. i'm gonna have to be the one who brings home the bacon until he finishes school. that's 4-5 years down the road. is this really what i want? some days i just want to sleep in and do nothing all day, but that's not reality. no one can do that everyday. it would be such a waste anyways! i want to wake up to my husband, get him off to work, take the kids to school, clean, do shopping, make dinner....but i'm not there yet, obviously. what i do right now, if i am responsible with what i have now, if i am faithful, then in the future maybe God will bless me with kids, not having to have a job, etc. i must prove to be faithful. but even then, my wants and desires may not be what God has in store for my life. it may be nothing close to the plan He has for me...He can change my desire. it sounds so easy, to just tell myself to wait on the Lord and do His will.... i will fall, but my Lord is full of grace. i will strive to seek Him and do His will...if that means living in Africa as a missionary, then so be it. what i want is not what matters. my life is not my own. i am His, i am an alien living in a foreign land.

I'm ready to grow up.

come back to me

Queasy...hate this feeling,
like I've been running for miles and miles.
talk to me, tell me what's on your mind.
make these rushing, spinning thoughts get out of my head.
I can't tell what's going on.
I need you.
You're so near, much more than before...
but it seems like the distance is the same as it used be.
Come back to me and show me your world.
I want to go into the distance and search for your thoughts
and bring you back to reality.

first post

I've been reading some friends' blogs and some friends of friends' blogs sitting here at work and decided suddenly that I should give it a try...I'm not sure if anyone will read this, but at this point I don't care...work is boring and at least I can continue to read and possibly comment on other's posts...that's all for now!